i am very miserable just now at the time .. but now after focusing on my subjects i feel more and don think about it .. it feel that i am more concentrate.. :) good thing
but things not going be solve..not everything i cannot think about it de.
mum and dad stop stressing me.. out.
everyday i try to do everything you ask me to do.. and i try my best
to do everything and every time you seems not enough why. ..? and scolded me why!
i feel so miserable.. everyday try my best to stay well in school .. try to do well in every subjects
but who knows that in my heart there is so much stress is just that you cant see through i try to stay clam and happy in school i try to be happy but in there me was not as happy as outside every time trys to focus on my subjects so that i will not think about all the home problems that's at home its seems a small thing but..its so like... to do every day the chores all i been thinking about all the work that have not done .. and thinking about the chores and think about i mum every times say about the buddist thing and ask me to do all this that and i never done it.. and every time have people ask me to go for buddish things.. pray.. and my inside keep thinking of church stuff and both same time keep coming after me .. and more.. all this is like dnnoe how many thousand and thousand of stone fall on me at a time and trap me in there and i cant even get out of there .. and going to stop breathing at each time i breathe it take so much energy to breathe.. i am so tired and miserable.. i feel like running away everything and go to a quiet place
and have a good rest .. i am so pain.
my parent just don understands me .. never trys to understand how i feel and everything .. he just think that i am lazy .. but if i am lazy i would even try my best everyday to do the chores and everything ..and on the same time i have alot things to do.. homework.. tests.. revise do d n t and everything and everyday at least 12 than sleep and wakes up at 5.30 .. and some times i cant sleep keep thinking everything .. thinking buddist and church things . i have stop going for buddish thing liao.. but all the surrounding me are buddish..and make me so miserable mum telling me every time.. i just cant cope both at the same time i feel so pain.. i feels happy in church i know but .. i don know how to solve another part .. if i tell my parents about it they will sure very disappointed in me and gets angry ..and nowadays my parent are hot temple all the times i just trying very hard not to let them get hot .. i feel so uncomfortable at home.. please god tell me what to do ? please i beg you i really cant take it any more each and everyday i just feel like ' there jump down you will not thing ' jump down .. jump .. but tell myself i cant do that.. no matter how hard it is just keep on going there are going to see like light no matter how dark is in there you will see light one day keep on walking .. do not stop once i stop i will waste my time .. and take more time to go out .. no matter how tired just keep doing it and i will come out of the darkness one day..
sometimes i really just feel like giving up.. is so hard .. really i can feel it.. is really like one big stone falls on my me i cant get up..like i am now trapping in the darkness with this big stone on me.. and make me stop walking ..and i cant get up.. and i have stop walking.

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is getting much and much heavier each day ..